I saw this movie today that was about this girl who couldn't decide between two men. One guy was what her mother thought would be best for her and the other would later prove to be her best match.
I could write a novel on the whole mother choosing a mate for you idea but that's not what has me writing this. What absolutely floored me was this one scene in the movie. The girl, not being able to decide between the two men, had just come from having dinner with the mother-picked guy and his family. Waiting for her on her doorstep was Mr. Right with a bouquet of beautiful flowers. He stood there long enough to see her thank and kiss mother-picked guy. After realizing that his "perfect" girl was not so perfect he pretty much sent her to hell and walked away.
Here is where it gets good: Later in the movie, distraught at the realization she could be making the wrong choice with mother-picked guy (it was clear to everyone watching the movie, but for the sake of prolonging the inevitable she stayed with him) she dumps him and goes on a quest to reconcile and beg Mr. Perfect to take her back.
In a romantic move filled with moist eyes and dramatic music playing in the background she shows up to this Mr. Perfect's job and confesses how wrong she was and how sorry she was. She says, "I miss you so much" and proceeds to tell him that she loved him and please give her another chance. Just to make the movie watcher stay with the story for another 30 minutes so as to fill the movie time quota he says no (at first of coarse) and she leaves the establishment broken and devastated and just overwhelmed with feelings of regret.
This whole scene is just a set up however, for how wonderful and magical it will be when he realizes that she, with all her flaws and even CHEATING ON HIM, is the best person for him and the one he loves. In what has to be one of the most cheesy-cliche-romantic comedy movie moments, he goes to her place of work and tells her how much he loves her and all her quirks make her so wonderful and how all the things that to everyone else in the movie (including mother-picked guy) found so annoying, to him where pearls of her character that he absolutely adored (of course).
After the movie I got to thinking. What if she never reached out and tried to get him back initially? Would he have ever shown up at her job and told her how much he loved her too? Or if he would have eventually, how long would this decision to find her and get her back have taken him? Of course for the movie magic to happen and the concept that love conquers all had to prevail and in order to be continually perpetuated by Hollywood, it had to happen right away (its only a 2 hour movie after all).
What really blows my mind is the idea of her going to him in the first place. What if that were real life? What if we, women that is, when faced with a breakup and utterly heartbroken and longing for things to return to the way they were, do this grand gesture and show up to were the guy lives/works/hangs out etc, and confess in a loud voice, "I miss you" and "I love you" and "Please take me back". What would happen? Would it all tie itself up in a neat little bow and in less than 30 minutes like in my movie?
Or would the guy call you a stalker, tell you off, and never speak to you again except for the occasional time he mentions your name in the phrase, "yeah she was psycho". Could it really be that becoming so vulnerable to admit that you were wrong about something, or that you miss someone be a bad thing? Is admitting how much you long to be in that persons life still, and that you let them know that, be some sort of cardinal sin?
Whatever happened to being honest? My critics will tell me that by doing what this girl did a woman would be loosing ground. But isn't this the sort of game playing that gets people into trouble in the first place? Who makes up the rules of these stupid games anyways? If you miss a friend, don't you tell them? If you haven't seen a family member in some time don't you say, "hey, I miss you"? Hell, there is a old man who bags my groceries and has been doing so for longer than I can remember and when he fell ill (unbeknown to me) when I finally saw him I said, "hey its been a long time, I missed you!".
Sure I can see that she (the movie girl) did a very wrong thing, so courtesy and ethics would say, go apologize. But what if you did nothing wrong? What if you just really miss that person? Is it SO freaking horrible to confess these feelings that you can't possibly just say the words?
When did saying how you feel become so laden with rules? And if these rules exist, are there exceptions, as there are to so many? What if your heart moves you and you feel like you should go and say, "I miss you"? Would that be so horrible? Would that make you a stalker or psycho or desperate. Why do we let pride write the rules? What if by being honest you do get your own sappy romantic comedy ending? Yes there is the risk that he totally blow you off and you become the butt of many a joke...but isn't saying how you feel important anymore?
I have found that there is this side of my character that makes me feel like I might burst if I don't say what is burning in me to say. Sure its gotten me into a mess a time or two, but to this day I can't say I regretted speaking. In the end, if rejection was there already, would saying how you feel change the outcome? Maybe not...
But at least you wouldn't lie awake at night constantly having to convince yourself not to pick up the phone or drive anywhere to say, "I miss you". You would have said it, it would be out there and not festering and lingering inside your mind. And really, is saying that you miss someone categorize you as a stalker or psycho? Since when is being honest and hopeful the ingredients to stalker-dom?
Is saying how you really feel to the person you still feel anything for worth the risk of humiliation and rejection all over again?
I'll tell you one thing...
I don't have an answer to that one!
So I guess I'll just continue wondering and then writing about it...cause right now my pride is kicking my ass at this game and it refuses to be like that movie-girl! But see me in a week and maybe I would have done a grand gesture by then LOL
Or maybe not
I could write a novel on the whole mother choosing a mate for you idea but that's not what has me writing this. What absolutely floored me was this one scene in the movie. The girl, not being able to decide between the two men, had just come from having dinner with the mother-picked guy and his family. Waiting for her on her doorstep was Mr. Right with a bouquet of beautiful flowers. He stood there long enough to see her thank and kiss mother-picked guy. After realizing that his "perfect" girl was not so perfect he pretty much sent her to hell and walked away.
Here is where it gets good: Later in the movie, distraught at the realization she could be making the wrong choice with mother-picked guy (it was clear to everyone watching the movie, but for the sake of prolonging the inevitable she stayed with him) she dumps him and goes on a quest to reconcile and beg Mr. Perfect to take her back.
In a romantic move filled with moist eyes and dramatic music playing in the background she shows up to this Mr. Perfect's job and confesses how wrong she was and how sorry she was. She says, "I miss you so much" and proceeds to tell him that she loved him and please give her another chance. Just to make the movie watcher stay with the story for another 30 minutes so as to fill the movie time quota he says no (at first of coarse) and she leaves the establishment broken and devastated and just overwhelmed with feelings of regret.
This whole scene is just a set up however, for how wonderful and magical it will be when he realizes that she, with all her flaws and even CHEATING ON HIM, is the best person for him and the one he loves. In what has to be one of the most cheesy-cliche-romantic comedy movie moments, he goes to her place of work and tells her how much he loves her and all her quirks make her so wonderful and how all the things that to everyone else in the movie (including mother-picked guy) found so annoying, to him where pearls of her character that he absolutely adored (of course).
After the movie I got to thinking. What if she never reached out and tried to get him back initially? Would he have ever shown up at her job and told her how much he loved her too? Or if he would have eventually, how long would this decision to find her and get her back have taken him? Of course for the movie magic to happen and the concept that love conquers all had to prevail and in order to be continually perpetuated by Hollywood, it had to happen right away (its only a 2 hour movie after all).
What really blows my mind is the idea of her going to him in the first place. What if that were real life? What if we, women that is, when faced with a breakup and utterly heartbroken and longing for things to return to the way they were, do this grand gesture and show up to were the guy lives/works/hangs out etc, and confess in a loud voice, "I miss you" and "I love you" and "Please take me back". What would happen? Would it all tie itself up in a neat little bow and in less than 30 minutes like in my movie?
Or would the guy call you a stalker, tell you off, and never speak to you again except for the occasional time he mentions your name in the phrase, "yeah she was psycho". Could it really be that becoming so vulnerable to admit that you were wrong about something, or that you miss someone be a bad thing? Is admitting how much you long to be in that persons life still, and that you let them know that, be some sort of cardinal sin?
Whatever happened to being honest? My critics will tell me that by doing what this girl did a woman would be loosing ground. But isn't this the sort of game playing that gets people into trouble in the first place? Who makes up the rules of these stupid games anyways? If you miss a friend, don't you tell them? If you haven't seen a family member in some time don't you say, "hey, I miss you"? Hell, there is a old man who bags my groceries and has been doing so for longer than I can remember and when he fell ill (unbeknown to me) when I finally saw him I said, "hey its been a long time, I missed you!".
Sure I can see that she (the movie girl) did a very wrong thing, so courtesy and ethics would say, go apologize. But what if you did nothing wrong? What if you just really miss that person? Is it SO freaking horrible to confess these feelings that you can't possibly just say the words?
When did saying how you feel become so laden with rules? And if these rules exist, are there exceptions, as there are to so many? What if your heart moves you and you feel like you should go and say, "I miss you"? Would that be so horrible? Would that make you a stalker or psycho or desperate. Why do we let pride write the rules? What if by being honest you do get your own sappy romantic comedy ending? Yes there is the risk that he totally blow you off and you become the butt of many a joke...but isn't saying how you feel important anymore?
I have found that there is this side of my character that makes me feel like I might burst if I don't say what is burning in me to say. Sure its gotten me into a mess a time or two, but to this day I can't say I regretted speaking. In the end, if rejection was there already, would saying how you feel change the outcome? Maybe not...
But at least you wouldn't lie awake at night constantly having to convince yourself not to pick up the phone or drive anywhere to say, "I miss you". You would have said it, it would be out there and not festering and lingering inside your mind. And really, is saying that you miss someone categorize you as a stalker or psycho? Since when is being honest and hopeful the ingredients to stalker-dom?
Is saying how you really feel to the person you still feel anything for worth the risk of humiliation and rejection all over again?
I'll tell you one thing...
I don't have an answer to that one!
So I guess I'll just continue wondering and then writing about it...cause right now my pride is kicking my ass at this game and it refuses to be like that movie-girl! But see me in a week and maybe I would have done a grand gesture by then LOL
Love: one of the greatest mysteries of humanity...
ReplyDeleteinteresting stuff :)
be happy!