And so the story begins

I'm not sure why I am starting a blog. What is a blog anyways? I find that perhaps my desire to create this extended "voice" may be a way to help all of the convoluted crap in my mind. Will anyone read it? Will anyone care? Maybe its not for anyone. Maybe this...this blog...is just for me.

I think that its time I try writing down all the stuff that has my mind all a-flutter. This is what I call therapy. Getting it all out in writing. Letting myself see the words...no matter what they are. See the pain in them, see the joy, see whatever I need to see in order to propel me to the next level (whatever that is). 'Cause whatever I am doing now, is not working. So I'll try this.

Wherever this blog thing leads me...IDK...but for now...its like a new relationship. Exciting and mysterious. So let the writing begin. You, the reader (if you exist). Feel free to step into my world. Here is a warning...It may get complicated (lol).

I saw this pic and it spoke to me. Isn't that the way with pics. Some are for memories; remembrances of things past. Others just jump out at you and say something. Like this image. That must be me. Walking this journey trying to figure this stuff out. All that's left behind are the imprints of where I have been. Leading me on...to where I am going.

Sitting here now thinking of all the places I've been. The things I've seen. The experiences that have taught me so much. It all makes me wonder: where too next? IDK. So far, this freaking journey has been long. And right now, I feel like I might be running out of water. But just like in this pic, if I can just get over this hill, maybe the next leg of all this won't be so hard.

Maybe this new phase will turn out better than what has been. I've been through a lot in the past year. More than most. A lot for me. But it always remains the same. Something shocks me into a reality that I have always had to face. A recognition that I am still getting to know me. Or at least the new me that has been birthed out from this most recent experience.

Its cool. Its scary. Its...unknown.

But I gotta keep walking. Gotta keep going. Gotta keep pushing up this hill. And who knows what or who will find me on the other side.

Why is it in life it takes adversity or some hard time to get to know our true selves? Why can't it be easy and we figure that out when its all good? Do trials really make the best you, you could be?

Or are we just a new branch that has been grafted in to our life? Are we now a new version of who we once were? I recognize that some trials produce great fruit. But some, well, truth is, that fruit is bitter.

In the end, all I can hope is that whoever emerges on the other side is a me I will recognize.