You want to know what gets under my skin and crawls around beneath it only to fester and rot there? People...no, not "people" because that would be to broad...MEN...yes, MEN who are like a freaking mentally retarded confusing and unclear blankity-blank-blank-blanks!!!
I mean how in all the world am I supposed to find my way through the maze of some guys mind when I am having trouble getting trough my own???
Do me a favor men....stop finding me! Stop looking for me. Stop finding in me the "answer". Cause usually the answer is that I am not the one even after you told me I was and you have told me so many times that I was the one you are now too confused to function! Stop with the, "you're my best friend" crap....I am NOT your best friend...cause you would not even treat an enemy like that so don't give me that bull!
Stop with the, "I suddenly realize that you are the one for me". Sure! I look pretty good in the arms of another don't I??? That's all it is. Wanting what you can't have even though at one time you thought you had it. Why is it that as soon as something becomes "unavailable" it becomes amazingly attractive?
I am so tired of being honest and being real about who I am and then having some guy act shocked later about when I display the behavior I WAS CLEAR ABOUT FROM THE BEGINING??? Where you not listening? What or who did you think you were dealing with? I am TIRED of changing who I am to accomodate someones timeframe, life experience, trama, problem, situation, and bullshit...cause after I do...it blows up in my face.
Stop writing me letters telling me what I SHOULD have done or what I SHOULD have said or how much more I COULD have been! Stop telling me that I was so great and wonderful and so perfect and yet so wrong. Stop dumping all your problems and worries and frustrations and venting all your crap all over me and when you have exhausted every word you could possibly utter leave me drowning in the sea of your vomit! Where now do I go to vent? With whom do I share all my grief and saddness?
Stop trying to find yourself, your answers, your future, your happiness, your next whatever...IN ME!
I am TIRED of the games...the confusion...the lies...the broken promises. I am tired of having to explain myself and who I am again and again and again! I am tired of having to tell someone to have the most BASIC of human courtesies...decency and consideration. Where you taught NOTHING as children? Did not someone tell you that you should not play with the heart of another? I am SO OVER meeting the guy who needs me for a minute and not for and hour, a month, a year or a lifetime. I am tired of having to teach men as if they were boys. I am tired of having this kind of elementary conversation, "Now, if you are feeling this....you should say this...and if you are feeling that...you should say that." Whatever happened to JUST SAYING THE TRUTH!!!!! Why oh why does it have be dragged out of you? Why do I have to wait soooooo freaking long to have you say, "I lied". Dammit, I would have so much more respect for a person who just spoke the truth.
I am so over the "yo ma's" and "ay mami's" and all the other one liners. I am tired of men not being MAN ENOUGH to say what he means and MEAN WHAT HE SAYS. I swear I know of only ONE...ONE...ONE GUY who ever (at least at the inception) appeared to have the vocabulary and the heart worth being around...can it possibly be true that it is such a rarity amoung the male species to posses a character trait of being considerate???? Is it such an insurmountable task to be considerate of anothers feelings? To not toy with someone's heart? To not say words you don't really, really, REALLY mean???
Don't come back to me later with a long ass tired letter or a rambling of words of all the reasons why I ruined this "perfect" thing or why now all of the sudden you realized I was not your "soul mate". How in the name of all that is holy am I supposed to know when I am trying to figure out if YOU are MY "forever"!!!!!!!!
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE spare me the lies. Spare me the words that ooze melodrama and romance. The words that tickle the ears but scorch the heart. Spare me the great times, and the flowing drinks, and the inside jokes, and the morning kisses if its NOT REAL!!! Spare me the "I love you's" with question marks in your eyes, and the forevers and great hugs...they mean nothing if they weren't real.
IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT THEN...YOU WON'T MEAN IT NOW...and I am TIRED of PRAYING AND HOPING THAT YOU DO!!!!
I give up...I surrender...I don't get men...and they will never have me
ever again...
That part of my heart....is now closed...forever.
Pat yourself on the back...you closed the door.
I mean how in all the world am I supposed to find my way through the maze of some guys mind when I am having trouble getting trough my own???
Do me a favor men....stop finding me! Stop looking for me. Stop finding in me the "answer". Cause usually the answer is that I am not the one even after you told me I was and you have told me so many times that I was the one you are now too confused to function! Stop with the, "you're my best friend" crap....I am NOT your best friend...cause you would not even treat an enemy like that so don't give me that bull!
Stop with the, "I suddenly realize that you are the one for me". Sure! I look pretty good in the arms of another don't I??? That's all it is. Wanting what you can't have even though at one time you thought you had it. Why is it that as soon as something becomes "unavailable" it becomes amazingly attractive?
I am so tired of being honest and being real about who I am and then having some guy act shocked later about when I display the behavior I WAS CLEAR ABOUT FROM THE BEGINING??? Where you not listening? What or who did you think you were dealing with? I am TIRED of changing who I am to accomodate someones timeframe, life experience, trama, problem, situation, and bullshit...cause after I do...it blows up in my face.
Stop writing me letters telling me what I SHOULD have done or what I SHOULD have said or how much more I COULD have been! Stop telling me that I was so great and wonderful and so perfect and yet so wrong. Stop dumping all your problems and worries and frustrations and venting all your crap all over me and when you have exhausted every word you could possibly utter leave me drowning in the sea of your vomit! Where now do I go to vent? With whom do I share all my grief and saddness?
Stop trying to find yourself, your answers, your future, your happiness, your next whatever...IN ME!
I am TIRED of the games...the confusion...the lies...the broken promises. I am tired of having to explain myself and who I am again and again and again! I am tired of having to tell someone to have the most BASIC of human courtesies...decency and consideration. Where you taught NOTHING as children? Did not someone tell you that you should not play with the heart of another? I am SO OVER meeting the guy who needs me for a minute and not for and hour, a month, a year or a lifetime. I am tired of having to teach men as if they were boys. I am tired of having this kind of elementary conversation, "Now, if you are feeling this....you should say this...and if you are feeling that...you should say that." Whatever happened to JUST SAYING THE TRUTH!!!!! Why oh why does it have be dragged out of you? Why do I have to wait soooooo freaking long to have you say, "I lied". Dammit, I would have so much more respect for a person who just spoke the truth.
I am so over the "yo ma's" and "ay mami's" and all the other one liners. I am tired of men not being MAN ENOUGH to say what he means and MEAN WHAT HE SAYS. I swear I know of only ONE...ONE...ONE GUY who ever (at least at the inception) appeared to have the vocabulary and the heart worth being around...can it possibly be true that it is such a rarity amoung the male species to posses a character trait of being considerate???? Is it such an insurmountable task to be considerate of anothers feelings? To not toy with someone's heart? To not say words you don't really, really, REALLY mean???
Don't come back to me later with a long ass tired letter or a rambling of words of all the reasons why I ruined this "perfect" thing or why now all of the sudden you realized I was not your "soul mate". How in the name of all that is holy am I supposed to know when I am trying to figure out if YOU are MY "forever"!!!!!!!!
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE spare me the lies. Spare me the words that ooze melodrama and romance. The words that tickle the ears but scorch the heart. Spare me the great times, and the flowing drinks, and the inside jokes, and the morning kisses if its NOT REAL!!! Spare me the "I love you's" with question marks in your eyes, and the forevers and great hugs...they mean nothing if they weren't real.
IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT THEN...YOU WON'T MEAN IT NOW...and I am TIRED of PRAYING AND HOPING THAT YOU DO!!!!
I give up...I surrender...I don't get men...and they will never have me
ever again...
That part of my heart....is now closed...forever.
Pat yourself on the back...you closed the door.
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