Silence is Golden?

My best friend reminded me of this today.

It wasn't to me she said this.  It wasn't even meant for me.  But when she said it...I took it.

I decided to use it because of the battle I am in right now.

I haven't battled like this in a while...its nice.

But its a battle none the less.  One to which I am sure to lose if I go against this "Silence is Golden" concept.

Am I really sure of this though?

What could be the worst possible thing that would happen 

if I open up my mouth and say:

Time stands still in the presence of one so great.
The words fail me even as they reach my lips.
I am overcome and overwhelmed with the realization of you.
All matter and semblance of stability melts away as 
I am flung back and forth by the waves of this current.


Logical sense has been tossed out along with rules and norms.
All that remains is my pulse, completely out of sync.
Filled with more questions than I have answers 
and more answers to questions I don't want answers to.


I pull back.
Or so I think.


Only to realize that pulling back means denying 
what I am being pulled towards.
The mask is thick with past remarks.
This mask is getting heavier.


Silence shouts out to me in words so loud 
my ear drums play their words on rhythmic tones.
My heart beats and my hands sweat.
What I know is that I shouldn't....or do I know this really?
The confusion is like honey on my lips and fuel in an engine 
that has been dead for years.


But I am paralyzed to speak.
I cannot.
I will smile with my mask on.
And no one will ever see the tears in my eyes.


Oh sweet feeling....
Oh tempestuous experience....
Oh joyful emotion....
Oh blatant denial....


Ne're do I choose one extreme over the other lest I lose it all.  
Sitting in this in-between warm bath of indecision may prove lonelinesses death trap.
But the water is too comfortable to disturb...


For now.