Deflated

Because that is how I feel.

It's almost laughable.  I have found myself in this spot again.  I swear my biggest problem is myself!  I am way to f""king nice!  Here is what I wanted to say:

"Who in the hell do you think you are?  I am trying to be nice!  And that is how you talk to me?  Go F""k Yourself!"

That is what I really wanted to say.

But I didn't.

I spoke in the most politically correct respectful manner I could muster just so that I would not get into an argument.  After the long day I have had and what looks to be an even longer night I just didn't feel like wasting my energy and arguing.  As a matter of fact, I don't like to argue! I did manage to make my point but even that was dismissed and laughed at!  What the hell.  Is this how you normally talk to a person????  Seriously?  When a person is trying to find out if you are ok this is how you speak to them?   FML!  But I just did not have the strength to go there.  To argue it out and make this dramatic scene.  Primarily because it just isn't that big of a deal to me and secondarily because based on the previous statements I knew that this person is so caught up in their own "business" there is no room to even conceive of another persons feelings.  

This lack of argument commitment on my part created the uncomfortable environment where I found it hard to continue listening and/or talking.  Some people just don't get it.  There I was trying to be nice, trying to be cool.  I don't know.This is what I get for being that way I guess.  Once again I manage to appear in someone's existence at the wrong place and at the wrong time.  Or maybe its just that they don't feel the need to put a person's feelings on their list of "Things I should not offend". Huh, who knows.

So as the conversation was winding down all I kept hearing was the sound a balloon makes as its deflating quickly...you know...that fart sound?  PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! I will admit that I had a minor expectation.  Perhaps a "thank you for your concern" or maybe a "Here's what happened...." But instead I get some really insensitive lashing and ASSUMING of my feelings or intentions.  To quote a long since passed 90's movie and at the risk of sounding to cliche for words....AS IF!!!!!  I guess once again I think that people are going to behave with some sense of consideration or just plain kindness.  I guess that's too much to ask for.

So I have decided to give up. I am going to let this deflated balloon stay where it landed.  I mean, what is the point?

I have learned a lesson though...or more like a very satisfying realization of myself...I am so OVER being nice and then it not being appreciated.

I will return to my assumed idea that the "world revolves around me" and digress....

LOL...ugh!